I was so used to a linear path to achieve my goals. Here is point A, and there is point B. And these are the steps I need to take to get to point B. No room for errors, no room for exploration, no room for creative expression. Sure, I would reach my goals, but once there, it didn’t feel like such a big deal after all that work. I pushed and strived and forced my way through to reach that goal. I felt accomplished, and I also felt unfulfilled.
When I began my journey inward, I expected it would be the same methodology as I used before. I set up a timeline and a starting point, and I began. The thing about this type of journey…it is messy. There is no “perfect path” to follow. This path is one that no one else has ever been on before.
Because our journey and the paths along our journey are unique to us. We are going into uncharted and untouched territories that have much to be cleared and removed before we can see where we need to go.
And this path is not linear, it is circular. We may need to pass by one area over and over until we have sufficiently cleared the way. There may be extra rubble and rocks with each layer of debris we remove. We move in a spiral. This is not a path across, it is path within. It is a journey into the depths of our being. When the way begins to clear, we will find more that we need to move out of our way.
On my own journey within, each layer revealed a deeper truth, and sometimes a deeper, often forgotten experience. Old wounds would show up once they had the space to do so. In the beginning of my journey, this was enough to make me want to jump off the path and go back to the safe, preset point A to point B path. Back to feeling unfilled and stifled. With each turn of the spiral, this became less and less of a struggle once I learned to surrender to and honor my path.
As my journey deepened, I began to feel a deeper sense of my Sacredness. I began to see and feel things differently. I began to notice the beauty around me….and the beauty within me. Where I once devalued myself, I now deeply loved myself. Where I once gave all of myself to please others, I now fill my vessel first and give from my overflow. Where I once took parts of myself off or hid them to please others, I was now shining and sharing my own light and truth.
I now embrace this spiral path that holds the deep mysteries within.